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400 lines
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Plaintext
CHAPTER NINE
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‘Neat machine!’ yelled Paddy as I stepped out of the jeep after
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parking on the pebbled driveway at the doctor’s big solid house.
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She’d come bounding out of the front door and through the
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porchway to leap down the steps, landing with a baseballer’s slide
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in front of me. She was all blue eyes and sparkly teeth and still a
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dead ringer for her mother.
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‘Where’re we going Nick?’ I could tell she was excited at the
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prospect of getting out and away from the big house. She bobbed
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up and down on the soles of her running shoes, brimful of energy
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and packed with fun.
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‘Don’t know yet,’ I said, letting her take me by the arm and pull
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me towards the house, feigning reluctance. ‘Hey, hey, at least let
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me keep my arm.’ .
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‘Are we going for a picnic?’ ·
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‘Well, I thought we’d go for a drive across to Loch Lomond.
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Maybe we can have a picnic there. I’ve brought some stuff to eat.’
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‘Great. I’m starving.’ The little girl’s enthusiasm melted away
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my night creeps like hoar frost under a hot sun. I had only met
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Paddy that once, the time I’d accosted her in the car park, and I
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had watched as she’d stuffed her face with Mary Baker’s finest. I’d
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taken to her, which is hardly a surprise, because she was so like her
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mother that she evoked a whole string of pleasant childhood
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memories. But she was also a good kid. Bright, intelligent, well
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mannered and funny. She took to me as well. It was as if she’d
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known me all her life. In a strange way, I felt really good about
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that, though I couldn’t explain why.
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I’d thought about Barbara once or twice since we’d re-met. No.
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That’s a lie. I’d thought about her quite a lot. She was terrific. I
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mean she was not just terrific looking. She had all the qualities her
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daughter had, and some that Paddy was surely going to inherit.
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Over our coffee and spiced buns we’d talked a lot about this and
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that and it didn’t take long for the small talk to evaporate. Maybe
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we hadn’t seen each other for twenty years and maybe we had been
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just kids then, but it really felt to me like she was an old friend — as if
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I knew what she was going to say, just before she said it. Her
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109
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humour was quick and her brain was agile, and she had poise and
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confidence. On top of that, she really was terrific looking.
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That estimation was reinforced when she came out through the
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porch and stood in the sun, the rays that lanced through the
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chestnut tree limping off the waves of golden hair.
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‘Hi Nick. It’s a great day for a trip.’
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‘You betcha mom. We’re going to Lock Lomond.’
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‘Loch Lomond, Paddy. You say it like you’re clearing your
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throat.’
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I ‘I thought we’d take a run up there. I haven’t been for years.’
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‘Sounds like a great idea. I need to get out in the fresh air. I’ve
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been stuck in with a cold or the ilu or something.’
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‘Oh, you should have told me. I could have made it another day,’
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I said, secretly glad that she hadn’t.
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‘No, I’m feeling flne. I just haven’t been sleeping well at all. I’ve
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been waking up with the shivers in the middle of the night}
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For an instant I had the shivers, up and down my back.
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‘But I slept all right last night, so I think I must be over it. And I
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wouldn’t give up a day like today for the world.’
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‘I’ve brought along some things to eat. Juice and crisps and some
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cakes,’ I said. ‘Plus some sausages and beans in case we want to
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make a fire.’
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‘Great,’ Paddy said, jumping around excitedly. ‘Can we make a
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camp fire Nicky? Can we mom?’ she said, looking back and forth
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from me to Babs. Her mother smiled and ruffled her hair.
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‘We’ll see. First I’ll get the stuff I’ve packed,’ she said, and went
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back into the house to reappear seconds later with a load of things
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wrapped in tin foil. It looked like enough to feed a platoon. Her
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father came out of the house with her. He’d aged a lot since I’d last
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seen him, but he still looked like an able old fellow. He took off his
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horn—rimmed glasses as he came down the stone steps and shook
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my hand.
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‘Well, hello there, Mr Ryan. Nick, isn’t it? Haven’t seen you in a
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long spell.’ His accent was still Scottish, unlike Barbara’s which,
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though not erased, was a mid-Atlantic hybrid. Paddy was strictly
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American.
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‘Nice to meet you again, doctor,’ I said.
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‘Take care of those ladies for me,’ he said. ‘They’re all that’s
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between me and seni1ity.’ He laughed and I went along with it. He
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was probably right.
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I opened the back door of the jeep and Paddy scampered in,
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bouncing up and down on the seat excitedly. Babs eased herself
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into the passenger seat and belted herself up while I started the
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110
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engine, reversed and headed back down the driveway. The old
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doctor waved vigorously as we turned into the street.
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We passed through the edge of Westbay and out along the
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Kilcreggan Road past the Langcraigs, a long ridge of buckled rocks
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that formed a low cliff parallel to the road. Out beyond that we
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took the Fruin Road that took us up by the old reservoir and past
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the Colquhoun battle monument and down the twisting leafy road
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in the valley between Cardross Hill and Black Hill towards Loch
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Lomond. It took less than half an hour to be on the main lochside
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road and heading up towards Luss and Inverbeg in some of the
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country’s most breathtaking landscapes. The further we travelled
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from Arden, the better I felt. Barbara was lively and animated and
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frankly stunning. I put down my good humour to her presence. She
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was dressed in a cotton shirt and a pair of white tight jeans that
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made no attempt to hide her long—limbed shape. She had a light
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sweater as well, but it was at her back, with the arms tied around
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her waist. Every time she moved her head her hair swung and
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bounced gently with it. Like her daughter, she smiled a lot and her
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piercing blue eyes sparkled.
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The Lomondside Road twists and turns alongside the Bonnie
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Banks in a series of chicanes and hairpin bends, which is
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murderous for the driving tourist who has to keep his eye firmly on
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the road and therefore misses those stunning glimpses of the deep
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blue water and the sweeping slopes of Ben Lomond. Babs and
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Paddy were impressed with the views and kept up a running
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commentary for me while I concentrated on passing caravans
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trailed behind slow-moving cars. I stopped at Inverbeg where
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there’s a nice little inn and an out-of-the—way art gallery that I
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made a mental note to have a browse through some time. I left the
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jeep in the car park and we took a farm road on foot behind the inn
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which led up Glen Douglas. We walked for no more than twenty
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minutes, which was enough to get us well out of earshot of the
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traffic on the road, and then followed a narrow path that took us
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down to the river. The walk was worth it for we found ourselves in
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a clearing at the bank of a crystal—clear stream that gushed down
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from a spectacular height into deep pot-holes in the rock. The
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sunlight slanted down deep into the water, giving the dell a
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fairytale quality. The only sound was the rush of water and the
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singing of linnets and chaffinches.
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Barbara stood entranced while her daughter immediately
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slipped off her trainers and left them on a narrow strip of shingle
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while she tested the water with her bare foot.
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‘Ooh! It’s freezing!’ she cried out after wading in until the water
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111
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was just above her ankles. She danced about, trying to get both feet
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out of the water at once, and failing comically.
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‘This is a lovely spot,’ Babs said. ‘I never even knew it existedf
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‘I used to come here now and again during the summer
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holidays,’ I said. ‘There’s some good trout in the water. We used to
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take a few and grill them over the fire.’
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‘Sounds lovely.’
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‘It was, but if we’d been caught poaching, the gillie would
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probably have shot us. They don’t mind you walking up here, but
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fishing’s a capital offence. We never did get caught.’
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‘The water looks so clean and cool,’ she said, watching as Paddy
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minced back on to the shingles, shivering.
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‘She’s right, it is freezing, but you get used to it.’
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I pointed downstream to a huge, water-smoothed rock. ‘Just
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beyond that there’s a good pool that you can swim in. After the Hrst
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shock you get your breath back and when you come out you feel
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great}
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‘I think I’ll try it,’ Barbara said. ‘I haven’t swum in a stream for
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years.’
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‘Go ahead. I’ll pass. It’s too damn cold for me.’
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‘Cissy.’
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‘Too true. I’m no masochist.’
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I did let her persuade me to take a dip later. It was absolutely
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freezing and I was blue with the cold. But I was right. After I got
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out of that pool and got dried off, my skin tingled and I felt
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wonderful.
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Paddy insisted that I light a fire, so I got some sticks together and
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put some fair—sized rocks in a circle and got a blaze going. I cooked
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the beans in the can and put some small sausages on a sharpened
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stick. It was no gourmet meal, but there’s something immensely
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appetising about anything cooked outdoors over an oak and
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pinewood fire. After we ate that, and watched as Paddy
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demolished most of the sandwiches her mother had brought,
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Barbara let her play about in the shallow pool and we sat by the
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crackling fire.
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Barbara had been telling me about her life in America where
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she’d gone just before her eleventh birthday.
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‘I was absolutely devastated when my father told me we were
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going,’ she said. ‘I remember I cried all night and most of the next
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day, but nothing I said seemed to matter. He had kept it from me
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right until the last moment, probably because he knew how I would
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react. Suddenly I found myself on a plane and away. It was the
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most miserable time of my life. I must have cried every night for
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112
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the first year,’ she said.
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Barbara was sitting with her back against the stump of an old oak
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tree. Her hands were clasped together around her knees, which
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she’d drawn right up almost to her chin. I was stretched out on the
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short grass, having a smoke. I’d cut down a lot since coming back,
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but one after a meal was still great.
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‘I remember being really upset when I went up to the house and
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found it empty. I thought you’d run out on me. There was nobody
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left.’
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‘My father never told me why he decided to leave, but it was
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quick. He’d been offered a consultancy in Vermont, but he’d had
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such offers before and disregarded them. His practice here was
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running well. I’ve got the feeling he just wanted me to grow up
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somewhere else. It’s strange though, when he decided to move
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back, there was no question in my mind I’d come back too. And
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after all that time, it was a wonderful feeling to be coming home.’
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‘It was just after the accident, wasn’t it?’
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‘What was?’
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‘When you went away.’
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‘Oh, you mean down at the point?’
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‘No, Ardhmor.’
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‘Ah, that was it. Yes. I think so. Not long after that.’
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‘Maybe your father thought you had bad company. But I felt as if
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I’d been deserted. Colin was in the hospital for months and you
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were gone to America. There was nobody 1eft.’
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Barbara leaned forward, away from the tree stump, trying to see
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what her daughter was doing further upstream.
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‘She’s all right. I can see her from here. She’s as happy as hell,
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but she must have anti-freeze in her feet.’
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Barbara smiled. ‘We used to spend a lot of time in the stream, I
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remember. The one and onlies. How did we ever come to call
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ourselves that?’
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‘Colin made it up. He thought we were unique}
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‘Yes, I remember now. The one and onlies. It seemed to fit right,
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didn’t it?’
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‘Like an exclusive club. We had some great times.’
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‘Yes, we did. My father didn’t approve of you two.’
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‘I can’t blame him. We were a bit wild,’ I said. ‘But you were just
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as bad as the two of us.’
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‘What the hell were we doing down at that place?’ she asked.
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‘Where?’
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‘That rock. Ardhmorf
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‘I haven’t a clue. It’s strange. I hadn’t thought about it for years
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113
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until I came back, and then a couple of people reminded me.
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Really, I just hadn’t thought about it at a1l.’
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‘Neither did I. I just remembered it the day I met you down at
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the supermarket. I mean, I remembered what I’d been told about
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it, but I can’t remember anything at all, subjectively.’
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‘Have you seen Colin?’
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‘God yes. I really had no idea. I was walking along the street with
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Paddy and this great thing lumbered out of a shop and started
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giggling at her and nodding. He tried to take her hand and I let out
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a yell. Hell, I didn’t even know who it was.
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‘He jumped back as soon as I shouted at him and then he started
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to cry. I felt a bit silly afterwards, and a bit ashamed, but I really
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didn’t know about him. He’s so . . . differentf
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‘They call him Badger, you know.’
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‘Yes, I heard. I suppose it suits him with that funny hair, but it’s a
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real shame. He was really so bright and adventurous. It’s as if
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there’s nothing there inside his head. Paddy and I have passed him
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by a few times down at the shops. She isn’t bothered. He just stands
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and smiles, like a big shy kid, and she makes a point of saying hello.
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Children are instinctive about that sort of thing, but mothers are
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different. I know he doesn’t mean any harm, but I can’t identify
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Badger with Colin Blackwood}
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‘Poor guy. He was pretty battered, so I’m told. What a waste.
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I’ve seen him down in Holly’s bar. They give him a lemonade
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shandy and he sits quietly and watches everything that goes on like
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a bewildered child. I don’t know how much of it he understands.
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It’s as if a switch has been clicked off inside his head.
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‘It could have been you, or me.’
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Barbara shuddered: ‘Oh, don’t say that. I’ve always been
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terrified of brain damage. A friend of mine in the States was in a car
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smash and ended up in a coma. When she came out of it she was
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pretty near a vegetable. I was so screwed up I couldn’t go to visit
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her, because it really wasn’t her. I’ve got some sort of phobia, as if
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I’m scared it’s infectious and I’ll end up like that.’
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‘Let’s talk about something less morbid.’
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‘How about Paddy?’ I ventured. ‘I’m still amazed at how much
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she’s taken after you. I swear that when I first saw her I thought I
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was in a time warp.’
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‘She’s a good kid.’
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‘Yeah, I can see that. I wonder if she’s as wild as you were.’
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‘I wasn’t wild. Maybe just a bit wilful. I could climb trees as well
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as you.’
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‘Probably better. You were an honorary boy to us. That was the
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114
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biggest accolade you could get.’ I turned and looked her up and
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down with a mock leer. ‘I suppose I’ll have to withdraw that
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honour.’
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Babs blushed. ‘I’ve had twenty years to grow out of it, plus,’ she
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said, nodding towards where Paddy was still splashing in the water,
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‘somebody to take over where I left off}
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‘Iust as long as she stays away from kids like me, she’ll be all
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right.’
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We both looked towards the stream where a flash of lights
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sparkled. Paddy was standing in the water up to her knees, and
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with one outstretched hand she was sweeping the surface of the
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water, sending up a coruscating curve of droplets.
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‘Look. Look at this. I can make a rainbow,’ she cried in delight.
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Barbara and I watched, laughing as the sunlight caught the
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shimmering droplets and laced them with colour. Paddy turned
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towards us with a wide smile on her face, and suddenly I was ten
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years old again and Barbara was . . .
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. . . standing in the water up to her knees, and with one hand
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outstretched she was sweeping the surface of the shallow stream,
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sending up a coruscating curve of droplets.
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‘Look. I can make a rainbow. ’
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Colin and I were sitting on a rock that sat in the middle of
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Strowan’s Water. He was whittling the point of a stick that he’d cut
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for an arrow. I had my head in my hands, feeling the sun on the back
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of my neck. We watched as Barbara squealed with delight, sending
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up rainbows into the air.
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The stream gurgled softly through the glade, murmuring as it
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meandered through the shallow gully, down towards the bridge and
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on to the jirth. It was one of those days that you could feel and smell
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and hear. The air was warm and still, sultry with pollen that settled
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on the surface of the little pools. Bees and insects buzzed in the trees
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and bushes and an occasional dragonfly would dart out like a fighter
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plane and buzz the calm surface, scooping up the mayflies as they
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hatched out. There was the smell of green that went with the
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dappling shadows on the water, and there was the delicious smell of
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pinewood smoke. A cuckoo called in the distance and wood pigeons
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threw their voices from the great branches hanging down from the
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beech and lime trees that lined the clearing.
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Colin was using the sharp end ofthe slender stick to scrape off thin
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lines of moss that lined the back of the stone, and Barbara, with her
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slacks rolled up over her knees, was a tousle—headed pirouetting
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figure of an undine, delighting in the play of sun and water. z
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A fly buzzed up near my ear and I lazily swatted it.
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115
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‘We could live here, you know, ’ Colin said. ‘There’s rabbits and
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fish and lots 0f things to eat. ’
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‘Yeah, we could build a hut here. Maybe up in a tree. Nobody
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would ever know we were here. ’ The idea had enormous appeal. I
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picked up my bow and nocked an arrow on the string. ‘I could be
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Robin Hood, ’ I said, and let an arrow fly into the air where it curved
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lazily and landed in a tree. It failed to come down again.
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‘I’d love to stay here, ’ Barbara said, ‘but my father would never let
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me. ’
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‘We’ll just have to run away, ’ Colin said. ‘M y mum would kill me
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when I got back. ’
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‘Don’t be silly. If you run away you don’t go back. ’
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‘Well, I think we should build a gang hut where we can keep all
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our bows and arrows and stuff and come here anytime we like, even
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when it’s raining. ’
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‘Great, and we can bring things to sit on, and even a bed and pots
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and pans, and all that. ’
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‘And nobody would ever know, if we hide it well enough. ’
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‘It would be just our place. For just the three of us, ’ Barbara said.
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We found an overhang later that afternoon and started piling up
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logs against it like a lean-to. The gales in the winter had dropped a
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couple of tall pines that had broken up, and there were any number
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of big branches that had snapped off the lime and beech trees. It
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didn ’t take long to build a shelter that could take the three of us fairly
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comfortably. We grunted with strain as we rolled up three fair—sized
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flat stones to sit on and Barbara and I collected clumps of fern and
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bracken to cover the gang hut with. lt was rough and ready and
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pretty cramped — there was no way we’d get chairs inside, never
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mind a bed — but it was dry and well camouflaged against raiders.
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And it was our secret.
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The lean-to in the overhang ofthe rock in the clearing at Strowan ’s
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Water was our place for the summer, our special hideout, our
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headquarters and our galleon, whatever we wanted it to be in those
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long days, but there was something special about the day that we
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built it- that day when Barbara had stood in the water and swept up
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a rainbow, and Colin had caught the jish. It was a day when the
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insects murmured softly and the stream gabbled its way through the
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rocks and I felt the sun on the back of my neck and . . .
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Somebody shook me gently by the shoulder.
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I started out of my daydream and Barbara was saying
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something.
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‘You were miles away,’ she said. ‘I thought you’d fallen asleep.’
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‘Not so many miles, but a long way,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I
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116
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was thinking about the hideout.’
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‘So was I. That’s one of the most amazing coincidences. It must
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be twenty years since I last thought about that.’
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‘It was just when Paddy . . .’
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‘Said she could make a rainbow,’ Barbara finished for me. ‘Yes,
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as soon as she said that I could see myself doing it down at the
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stream. The whole picture just came into my head, complete, like a
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iilm out of an archive.’
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‘Déja vu, or something, they call it. No, more like a memory
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trigger. I was just thinking of that time, remembering how good I
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felt then. Those were the days.’
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‘But they didn’t last,’ she said, almost wistfully.
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‘No, nothing ever does. You went off to America and Colin was
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in hospital and even when he came out there wasn’t anything left of
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the one and onlies. I stayed round at my grandfather’s a lot after
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that, because I couldn’t be bothered with anything else. I suppose I
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became a bit of a loner then.’ g
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‘Me too. It took me a long time to forgive my father for taking
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me away. I remember thinking then that you two were the best
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friends anybody could have.’
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‘I suppose all childhoods are like that. You think you’re going to
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be friends for ever, but it hardly ever happens.’
|
||
‘I’ll tell you something, though,’ Barbara said, sitting with her
|
||
arms crossed over her knees again. ‘Nothing was the same again. I
|
||
mean I’ve had some interesting times growing up in America, but
|
||
there was nothing to make it sparkle. I went to school, and then
|
||
college, and then I sort of drifted into marriage, and it was as if I
|
||
was just going through the motions.
|
||
‘And then Paddy came along, and the sparkle came back. It was
|
||
as if everything was in black and white and then went into full
|
||
technicolour. She brought the magic back into my life, like nothing
|
||
else could.’
|
||
‘You’re lucky,’ I said, looking over to where the little girl was
|
||
wading in the stream, her jeans rolled up over her knees, and her
|
||
tanned, well—shaped legs cutting bow waves in the water. ‘She’s a
|
||
lovely girl.’
|
||
‘I suppose you’re going to say she takes after her mother,’ g
|
||
Barbara said, and laughed softly.
|
||
‘You can hardly deny maternity, can you? Yes she does take
|
||
after her mother, and if she keeps on going she’ll be every bit as
|
||
beautiful as her mother is.’
|
||
‘Oh Nick. I believe you just made a pass,’ she said with a wry
|
||
smile.
|
||
117
|
||
|
||
|